A Private Audience with the Queen

 

So here I am in lovely Hidden Springs, about to confront my ex-girlfriend Kyra Foster for an exclusive she gave to Kiss and Tell magazine about our relationship. 

But first, I’m about to have a private audience with the Queen, Catarina Vanderburg. 

She has asked me to meet her in this secluded wooded area behind the Hidden Springs Lodge.  She has done this to ensure the utmost privacy. 

When I catch a glimpse of the queen, she is reading a romance novel.  I can’t tell if it’s one of Annabelle Smith’s but it sure looks like it.  Who’d have thunk it, the queen reading Annabelle Smith???

Anyhow, when I catch a glimpse of the queen, she is as regal as I imagined.  She is wearing a long yellow gown. 

I took a deep breath.

“Your Majesty,” I managed to stammer, sinking to my knees as is protocol. “You wanted to see me?”

“No need to bow, dear,” she assured me in the slightest hint of an accent. 

Dear?

“I’ve a proposition for you that might be worth your while.”

“Proposition?” I repeated.  “You have to understand, Your Majesty, that I’m an extremely busy man.”

“I understand, you’re in town to shoot a movie.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”  I wasn’t entirely fibbing, but I wasn’t being entirely truthful either. 

"I understand you and your last girlfriend had a particularly nasty breakup in the press, and I’m truly sorry to hear it.  Therefore, I propose a match with my daughter, Francisca.”

“Me, Your Majesty?” I asked.  “But she’s vanished!  No one knows where she is.  I’m an actor, not a private investigator.  I don’t even play one on television.”

“You were Francisca’s favorite actor.  Every time she heard you were in a movie she arranged private screenings at the theater just to see it.  She saw all your movies before they came out.  She had pictures of you all over her wall.”

“Your Majesty, I’m flattered, but –"

“Mr. Plumb, I’m confident that you and Francisca would make a perfect match.  You’re a musician, and she has had piano lessons since she was no bigger than my thumb.”

“Your Majesty –“

“If you can locate Francisca and return her safely to the palace, then – then I have no choice but to give the two of you my blessing to marry.”

“But your Majesty!”

“It is settled.”